dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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