Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
