guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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