My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
