booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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