ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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