dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My nipple is on Facebook.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
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Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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