Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
