the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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