i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
