I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize