You're completely useless in the revolution.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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