I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
well I can't set my house on fire every night
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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