Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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