Nicole vs. Life
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
