I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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