I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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