I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
