i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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