the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize