He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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