i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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