I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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