Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
