I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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