Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Success! We fucked roommates!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
