I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is Oprah even human
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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