Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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