Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sex in the backyard? Check.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
