And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
