It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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