I just pynch a tree in the face
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
