it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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