Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am puke
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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