I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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