Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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