If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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