I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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