I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
