i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
worst night to have a conscience
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My breasts were aching with rage.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.