May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
