Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.

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  (860): I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination. http://tfl.nu/f55n
  Replies (4) Good night (3352) Bad night (678)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet

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  (571): All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/3sbr
  Replies (4) Good night (4924) Bad night (863)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.

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  (610): I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs. http://tfl.nu/uj0s
  Replies (19) Good night (7250) Bad night (1111)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.

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  (502): one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why. http://tfl.nu/9zaj
  Replies (12) Good night (5149) Bad night (1234)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

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  (352): she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property. http://tfl.nu/vsw9
  Replies (25) Good night (2205) Bad night (5673)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  At least he's a nutritious stoner...

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  (402): Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches. (1-402): At least he's a nutritious stoner... http://tfl.nu/2qp4
  Replies (18) Good night (8300) Bad night (1168)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...

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  (315): Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime... http://tfl.nu/v3a6
  Replies (7) Good night (2147) Bad night (1135)
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  (714): View more from California

  there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.

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  (714): there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe. http://tfl.nu/faaw
  Replies (10) Good night (2478) Bad night (1042)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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  (907): You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn. http://tfl.nu/73y5
  Replies (6) Good night (2306) Bad night (1073)
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  (949): View more from California

  He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick

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  (949): He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick http://tfl.nu/ka5e
  Replies (20) Good night (1693) Bad night (759)
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  (518): View more from New York

  It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.

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  (518): It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips. http://tfl.nu/uv9b
  Replies (4) Good night (1025) Bad night (509)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.

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  (916): I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me. http://tfl.nu/xyna
  Replies (7) Good night (3682) Bad night (643)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM

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  (336): Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM http://tfl.nu/7din
  Replies (9) Good night (1840) Bad night (504)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.

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  (850): The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud. http://tfl.nu/iki6
  Replies (8) Good night (1127) Bad night (375)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  third nipple confirmed

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  (952): third nipple confirmed http://tfl.nu/yb8m
  Replies (9) Good night (286) Bad night (610)

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