she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.