just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
