Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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