Its about making memories worth repressing
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
