32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
