I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
as a side note pls kill me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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