i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
