i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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