So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
