somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
