Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
