just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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