im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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