we made out on top of his cat.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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