I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
