I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
